I have long since embarked on my journey of my dreams. I can’t imagine how much I have given up to pursue such an endearing dream of mine. Everyone says that I have brave, but to me, I had felt nothing. I had felt that this is what I want and till today, I have no regrets of anything that I’ve given up. But somehow, something strikes me today, the fear of not having someone to join me in my journey of the rest of my life. How sad can this be?
As much as I hope to have someone, I felt that it is very difficult for me to let anyone in though at this point in time I do have a teeny weenie feeling for a guy. But, the word ‘fear’ is once again there. Before I go on, I have told myself that this is not possible as i guess it is only a platonic friendship. He don’t really know me and vice versa. I think he is just feeling lonely as he has such huge differences with his course mates. He is such a girl guy. I think we’re just plainly meeting up to study and to give each other the support that we both are going through at this point in time.
Enough said, I shall move on to the next thing that I need to let it out. That is my buddy S. I am so disappointed at him! Why has he shown me who he is? Suddenly, I just realised that I do not know who he is anymore. He is so desperate now! To the point where he has asked me for intimacy twice! I felt totally disgusted. How can he ask me such a thing while on the other hand, he is interested in another girl?!?!?! If that is how it is, then go for the girl that he likes and ask her for it. Why me? Why did he choose to change my perception of him over night? This is so wrong of him. What should I do? Am I being too nice and let him step over my head? Or am I just being stupid? I do not know myself anymore…
